I have been thinking about support systems lately - people we can turn to for help when we need it. I am surrounded by a robust support system of family members, community members, and friends. We are ready to help each other at a moment's notice should the need arise.

I tend not to think of next-door-neighbors as part of my support system. I have lived in rental houses and apartments for a long time, and we nomadic-rental-people tend not to work very hard at our relationships with one another.

I currently live in a rental house with a yard, but I do not own a lawn mower. I had been borrowing a nearby community-member's lawn mower, but it broke down. I couldn't really borrow from family, because my family members live impractically far away.



So there I was, hat in hand, on my next-door-neighbor's doorstep. She's a kind lady. She lives alone. I'm worried that my lawn mower-deficiency will offend her. "What kind of man am I if I don't even own a lawn mower?" I wonder. She is probably going to think I'm a freeloader.

 I knock on her door and ask her if I could borrow her mower. She says, "No problem! I just bought a new one!" So we talk for awhile about lawn mowers, and we work it out that I will mow her (small) lawn next time she thinks it needs it. I offered to help her paint her garage, too.

She has lived in her house for a long time. She said she's mowed my house's lawn many time in the past. As it turns out, I'm not the first renter in the world to not own a lawn mower. We talked about the neighborhood, and jobs, and so on.

I mowed my lawn and brought her mower back with a full gas tank. The tank cost 7 dollars to fill, and she said for 7 dollars I could use the mower for the rest of the season. Through this experience I learned that there are four corners to support systems: friends, family, community, and also neighbors.

Jay and I spent last weekend visiting our dear friends in Liberty/Kansas City that we lived in community with a few years ago. We celebrate our little community with brunch and saying goodbye to one of the homes where many community happenings took place and hello to a new home where new memories will be made. This caused me to reflect on all of the adventures in community I have had the privilege of experiencing in my 27 years. Spare Key is not the first community Jay and I have enjoyed. After a lot of thought I counted and realized that I have lived with 25 different people at some season in my life. And this number doesn't take into consideration all of the other friends in community I have made.

I have heard many people say that it is a rare thing to find one true friend to go through life with. If that is true, then I am blessed way beyond my share with these 25+ people whom I have communed with. And dwelling with 23 of these people took place within the last 10 years! The even more rare thing is that I have very fond memories of all of these community experiences. There was no roommate disaster or dreaded fall out in any of these situations. What a gift!

Thinking about all of these memories and the ones that are just being added to it every day (like the NERF war that happened last night with Spare Key people and friends from Urban Roots farm) humbles me. How many people just get to share life with amazing people every day? How many neighborhoods have a great house on the corner where we can have a fire pit that draws people in every night? How many people live a block from where much of their food is grown? I can't answer these questions for you, but I am thankful to be counted as one for whom all of these things are true.

As my community circle grows (especially of late, it seems) I look back with awe at the life that I have been given and the many people whom I get to live it with. For all of you whom I have lived with or communed with in some way, thanks. You have made me life so much richer and fuller. I am grateful to get to share a season, part of a season, or every season of my life with you. Community life with you has truly enriched my life and will continue to do so.

This week marks the beginning of a new adventure of discovery together for us. We will begin exploring what Sabbath truly means and how we can go about developing the intentionality needed to  commit to practicing Sabbath in our busy world. What a great topic to study over the summer!

Last week we spent our time together talking about what Sabbath means to each of us. We started by saying one word that we connect with Sabbath. Some of the words mentioned included: rest, restorative, intentional, outside, routine, and candles. We then each had a chance to elaborate on why we connect that word to Sabbath and what Sabbath means to us. In our small group we had a wide range of meanings for this practice. Everything from taking a day off with no cell phones or internet to digging holes and doing yard work. I'm eager to see how our understandings of Sabbath grow as we learn together this summer.
To guide us on our journey, we will be reading Sabbath by Dan Allender. This book is part of a series of books called the Ancient Practices Series. I had the privilege of reading this book several years ago and I recall fondly the immense impact it had on my life and I look forward to reflecting on that as we read it once again and seeing where it leads us as a community.

I will leave you with a quote by Phyllis Tickle, the editor of Sabbath. She writes this in the introduction:

"What has happened for me in working with this manuscript is a transposition of the Sabbath from rule and commanded observance to holy romp and secret playground where each visit only adds another level of delight."

I am so excited to discover that secret playground and holy delight with my Spare Key friends. We will keep you posted on our reflections along the way!

When Jay and I lived in Pittsburgh, one of the first activities we did with our community mates were 10 minute stories. We laid on blankets at a beautiful park overlooking the city and shared our life stories with one another. This has been something we have carried into every community we have lived in since in some capacity.

Photo Credit: www.nannygoatsinpanties.com

When we moved to Liberty, our little community shared 10 minutes stories in the same way as in Pittsburgh. It looked a little different because everyone knew each other a little more than our community in Pittsburgh where we all just moved in together with no history. In Liberty, the stories took a deeper level. Each person shared with the community personal details such as things we struggle with and how we wrestle with our faith. It was a beautiful way to understand our community mates a little better.

Now that we are part of Spare Key, we wanted to incorporate this somehow. Some of us realized that we have spent over two years sharing life with one another but still lacked an adequate understanding of what each person's day-to-day lives looked like. So, we began "Day In The Life" stories. Over the past several months, each of us have taken turns sharing what a day in our life looks like.

Ryan's story included a panoramic picture of his workspace for the City of Springfield. Rob showed us around the Watershed Center and Jay showed us a video of him teaching at OTC. For my Day in the Life a few weeks ago, I let the teacher in me show. I made this timeline to show what my crazy days look like right now.

So, why do we do this? In John Gottman's book, 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work, he talks about the importance of enhancing your love map of your mate. This principle (and many of the other 6 principles in the book!) applies extremely well to community and relationships in general. Learning what the day-to-day looks like for our community mates helps us understand them better. It enhances or love maps.

I have very much enjoyed hearing everyone's Day in the Life stories. I'm grateful to get to spend my days with such cool people. What else can we do to enhance our love maps?

My mom used to call me her "domestic diva." I guess that was a fitting nickname. I love taking an ordinary space and filling it with beautiful decor to make it feel like home. I enjoy inviting people to my house and serving them fun desserts. I adore receiving kitchen gadgets as gifts, but mostly I just like to create pretty things.

My finished project

I have been celebrating a lot lately. I have recently finished my Masters thesis; I am drawing near to the end of my graduate work; My birthday is coming up. We all like to celebrate important milestones. But this has got me thinking about the practice of celebration in general.

Celebration is the memorialization of happiness. It is the process of slowing down and experiencing happiness as it happens.